Miscellaneous thoughts….

I think I am going to do away with the Weekend Update.  If something exciting or interesting happens during the weekend, I am sure I will blog about it (like our trip yesterday to the Orlando Farmer’s Market!).  No one cares about the boring, tedious details of my weekend!

However, I did have some general thoughts and bits of news from my life that I wanted to share.

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First of all, my brother-in-law Keith, is flying back to Tennessee tomorrow.  Unfortunately he hasn’t changed as much as we had hoped and was unable to put forth enough effort to start a life for himself here in Orlando.  We are disappointed, but at least we can say we have done everything possible to help him become an independent adult.  Some people just can’t be helped, especially if they are convinced that everything negative happening to them is either someone else’s fault or bad luck.  He won’t change until he is mature enough to understand that it is his own faults that have created this reality for him.  Sure, bad luck and setbacks can happen to anyone.  But if you don’t have the self awareness and drive to recognize and learn from your own mistakes, or even just to have the desire to better yourself and become more self-sufficient, you will never achieve anything.  I feel like he is sitting around waiting for success to fall into his lap, or waiting for someone to take his hand and lead him to success.  We all know that means he will be waiting a long long time, and I’m not sure how long the people in his life will put up with that, because my limit (and Tadd’s too) on that has been reached.  He has lived his adult life thus far based on accepting kindness and favors from others.  He is way too content on being dependent on other people.  Now it is time for him to man up and live his life for himself.  Unfortunately after living with him for 2 months, I know that something big will need to happen for him to wake up.  My hope is that it is joining the military and not something negative.  Only time will tell.

Model we are considering: Brother XL2600i

In happier news, Tadd and I would like to purchase either a sewing machine or a juicer soon.  I’m sure eventually we will get both, but I really don’t want to spend the money to get two large ticket items at the same time.  Right now I am leaning more towards getting a sewing machine first!  Believe it or not, Tadd isn’t too shabby at sewing…He’s actually better than I am.  Right now anyways (I plan on practicing a lot!).  Lots of sewing-machine-related projects flying through my head now…

Also, I am starting to get excited for my upcoming trip to New England!  I leave 2 weeks from Thursday, which kind of startled me when I realized it was that close.  My parents, brother, and I are flying into Boston, staying one night to visit friends & family, then 2 nights in Vermont for a wedding, then one additional night in the Boston area for more family time.  It will be jam-packed and busy, busy, busy, but it will be good to go back and see people I haven’t seen in years.  It has been way too long.  Tadd is staying home for this trip and I will miss him, but at least the kitties will be able to keep him company.  And he’ll have plenty of time to work on his own new blog (which I hope to be able share with you soon!).

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4 responses

  1. I didn’t know you were going up to Boston too! Fun times 🙂 I’m sure the weather will be PERFECT for you guys (it was pretty nice for us).

    Sorry to hear about your BIL. You’re right — he’s the only one who can change. It took my brother a life altering accident to wake up and realize what he was doing with his life.

    • Yep, just a quick family/friend/wedding visit. Very similar to your trip. I’m excited about more comfy weather, even if just for a few days! New England in August can be beautiful.

      I have gotten a lot of similar stories of other siblings/in-laws who have gone through similar issues as Keith. I really hope he wakes up soon. I feel bad about giving up on him, but he just makes bad choice after bad choice (both minor and major ones), knowing that someone else will be there to fix it or clean it up for him or give him “one more chance”. Very quickly I realized that in his case, “helping” is not actually helping, because he needs to learn to be resourceful and self-sufficient. All this “help” is just making him more helpless and more dependent on others. It’s a vicious cycle that, at the age of 20, he is too old to be stuck in.

  2. I second your comment about the military. He would have no choice but grow up, and he would learn skills that would most likely open up careers for him.

    • Exactly! I am not one to really push ANYONE into something like that, but in his case, it’s SO the obvious path to success for someone like him. He has made some very bad choices in life thus far, and based on his current set of options, military is by FAR the best one. Of course he needs to see that on his own, but right now he is subsisting on handouts from others and lots and lots of excuses…and he is wasting his youth doing nothing, waiting around for something to happen. The whole idea of his own future is so abstract, it doesn’t seem to even register for him to plan for it. It’s all about what will get him by right now. Which is why I think it will take something really big for him to change. Such a shame…

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